tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59621188403893443392024-03-13T11:36:05.587-04:00Happiness One Day at a timeHappiness is a state of mind and mine is slipping....quickly into the abyssAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.comBlogger108125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-43020412779789677862015-04-18T13:44:00.005-04:002015-04-18T13:44:31.749-04:00Happiness is a blog from the heart…<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am
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grandmother who lost two boys in the Oklahoma City bombing 20 years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One newsman said that his wife mentioned that
when his son was born, her heart was now outside of her body.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was one of the most accurate descriptions
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Blogging is
good therapy but please do me a favor; I am not looking for sympathy in my
writing; I am looking to resurrect my life and give it new meaning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Happiness is realizing that I still have a
reason to revive my life and my personal meaning; join me in moving ahead…</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-68731408289766602642015-04-17T10:33:00.000-04:002015-04-17T10:35:08.922-04:00Is happiness hidden in the past…look back and see<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When you’re
worried and you can’t sleep just count your blessings instead of sheep…<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People often ask me how I am now that Jeremy
is gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s an interesting question
because I am … different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My doctor gave
me some strong advice, he said” You won’t get over it, you’ll just get used to
it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have; I am getting used to it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Love is an unquantifiable
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does it require some special gift? Once you love someone; that depth of emotion
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I can count
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mother and sisters, my dogs, my first best friend, my first high school crush; Jim;
Jeremy, Joe, my friends, and myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My past is
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I enjoy
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Now I look
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his Herman Munster laugh so hearty, so genuine.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am happy;
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</span>I don’t count sheep, I count my blessings.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<h2>
</h2>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-48154487750912260732015-04-16T12:05:00.000-04:002015-04-16T12:05:49.821-04:00 It’s in the genes…happiness that is<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">How do you start
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are so complex; give me a good dog any day, no muss no fuss:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>walk me, feed me, play with me, and love me;
repeat daily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Humans have a hard time
loving and being loved; our personal flaws are deep and striking and we wear
our pain on our faces and in our hearts, especially as we age; but I see some,
a few lucky ones, who always seem to rebound and I ask myself, how do they do
it?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Everyone has
difficult choices to make in life and the longer you walk this earth the more
obvious it is but it’s the circumstances that are thrown at us like boulders of
despair that you must leap over or work around that make life so dangerously
complex.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My mother always said, “God only
gives you what you can handle,” but I’ve always hated that phrase and to be
honest I have always resented it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am doing
some personal calculations for improvement now; looking to make changes in my
life that will bring me happiness on a more consistent basis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to feel healthy (I’ve got a ways to go
there); I want to wake up after a good night’s sleep unmedicated with a smile
on my face (this will take plenty of effort); I want to feel deserved of the
love I do have from my husband and my family (I am more successful at this
goal, so far); and I want to live and love like my dog (less complicated, more
loving, and perky).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yes, my role
model for change is based on my Zeffy my pupper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is appreciative of all contact with Joe
and I; shows constant love and affection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Zeffy is always near one of us, touching us, kissing us, wagging his
tail in appreciation and joy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is
protective of us, happy to see us each morning without exception and grateful
for any love and time we give him.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So I have
figured it out; happiness is in the genes but we need to reactivate our
happiness genes because they been dormant too long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have my role model, who is yours?</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-22991372713778309792014-11-14T14:51:00.001-05:002014-11-14T14:52:55.109-05:00Happiness is…a rose by any other name<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, we’re
married for one whole week and many people have weighed in on our life changes; friends, family,
colleagues, and neighbors; of course when you write a blog, that’s what you should
expect.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What I didn’t
expect is how many people would vicariously feel the delight and love created
by our union. Two lives that have been joined as one based on love and mutual
respect. The look on the faces of our friends and family has been incredible;
their personal responses; the true tears of joy; the genuine emotion expressed
has been staggering.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am old
fashioned and so is Joe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We knew what marriage
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expression of love and respect but the reaction from our close friends and
family was astonishing with barely an exception..</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">At first
some of them were stunned; asking if we were sure about this life change.
For Joe and I, there were no reservations but for some others; there were a few
caution flags thrown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it too soon
after the death of Jeremy? You two are fine as you are; why get married?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It is true
that we were fine as we were but we are, in fact, better for our marriage than
even I would have expected. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am in the
process of changing my legal name which is a fairly substantial effort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once again; most of our community said; you
don’t need to do this but that’s not why I am.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In my world
and time, when you marry someone; you should give your entire self to him as he
has to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The small effort of showing
that I belong only to him is the least I can do to show my love and affection.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When you
truly love someone; that emotion; that feeling is added to your heart in such
as way that it doesn’t disrupt your previous loves and life experiences; it
enhances them; it rekindles them; there is nothing like the feeling of true
love and the smile that goes with it...</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Getting
married was starting a new chapter in our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has awakened strong memories; good ones; a
rebirth of our lives together; an enhancement of our souls. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">My mother
always told me that love was never wrong and commitment is the signature of
strength and fidelity. So here I am: in my 60's smiling....happiness is marrying Joe.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<br />
<h2>
</h2>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-55413788633612725902014-11-08T10:05:00.000-05:002014-11-08T10:05:08.359-05:00Happiness is….when your heart is filled to the brim<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As many of you know, I was
married to Joe yesterday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have been
together for almost eight years and I have grown to love him with all my heart
and soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two weeks ago, he brought me
to one of my favorite childhood places in Morgan Park in Glen Cove where I grew
up near the beach. I used to call it my castle. He was so filled with emotion
when he dropped to one knee and I was stunned and my eyes welled up with tears
of joyfulness.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We spoke of marriage in the past
but the idea and the ideal seemed far away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After the death of my son, my soul was filled with “the horrible nothing
that all parents feel at the death of their child;” an emptiness almost too
difficult to describe; a void that seemed endless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There is an old proverb that
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into your life and fill your heart with passion and joy if you let it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If walking on air were a reality;
I’d been at least ten feet off the ground today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although our day to day lives will look very
similar to the day to day before we said our vows; we still have changed (for
the better.)</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The most wonderful part has been
the reaction of our friends and family; the outpouring of love; the congratulations;
the prayers of love and joy from everyone has been overwhelming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s amazing how this simple act of commitment
has engendered such a positive reaction from so many.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When people say marriage is
becoming a thing of the past; don’t you believe it!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Marriage is still and will always be the act
of true compassion, love, commitment and joy that can be shared by so
many.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The joy I feel today is a composite
picture of the many encouraging reactions we have seen and heard from others.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Thank you friends and family for
being so wonderful in your responses to our news.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So remember, when your heart is
so empty that is the time God can fill it with something special if you let him…just
look at me…</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Happiness is being married to my
Joey.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-9231430879893340542014-11-03T09:35:00.000-05:002014-11-03T09:35:02.216-05:00Happiness is learning to see with your heart…<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">People ask me how I survive the
days post Jeremy; my response is direct and simple: long ago I learned to see things with my heart instead of my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> My heart has grown throughout my life; leading me to unexpected paths and has taught me how to live on in spite of life's difficulties by immersing myself in life's joys both present and in the past. </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">You see, my heart always tells the truth but my eyes seem to
lie occasionally or so I believe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>For instance, whenever
I look in the mirror, I have a hard time reconciling the face I see.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who is that “older woman” looking back at me?</span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"> </span>She smiles a lot like I do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has wise eyes like I do but she is just a
bit different than my heart tells me I am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span> <span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Most of the time, I am 35 in my mind and heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a good age for me: professionally experienced;
personally experienced; and happy with my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was going in the right direction.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Jeremy was 5 then and a most
inquisitive and engaging child; fun to be with and distinctly different from me and his dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was exciting to watch him grow and develop.
</span><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">It was fun to hear him talk about everything; he was prolific!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;"><span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When Jeremy was born, though, </span>my heart opened in a way I did not quite understand; I started to see with my soul, my emotion; to replace my common ocular experience with a depth I did not yet understand. My heart became so full of joy; explosive, raging, constantly aware that by the time he was five, my heart was my leading ocular device.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">When you see with your heart, you
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Of course, there are a few
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<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Your eyes have learned to ignore
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">Your joys are brighter and your
sadness may be more difficult to withstand at times but the value of human life
etching is essential to personal growth and in maintaining your “humanness” and joy
throughout your life despite the challenges thrown your way.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Cambria","serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: major-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: major-latin;">So I say, see with your heart…you’ll say "thanks for the permanently etched memories."</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-90287484904024800112014-10-02T10:11:00.000-04:002014-10-02T10:11:25.275-04:00Is Grief a form of happiness?
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As most of you know, my son died from cancer recently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a result, I am grieving and on some days
I’m great and others not so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Grief is a
personal experience and is different for each and every one of us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In our American culture, we honestly don’t
know what to do with grief and so we hide behind platitudes and useless
expressions of condolences without really understanding the true nature of the
grieving process.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When I see people or speak with them on the phone, I find
that they don’t know what to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
understand this as I have had the same experience as a friend of a grieving
one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have several observations that I would like to share.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First and foremost, when you don’t know what
to say, that is a sign to listen to the other person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of us who are grieving need to talk, to
remember; to think about our recently lost loved one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We know you don’t want to hear any gruesome
details about the end of our loved one’s life and, in fact, we don’t want to
share these as well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So many people have a need to tell me their stories and that
is natural as well although I, personally, am not ready for anyone’s else’s death
stories as I am too deeply engrossed in my own reality. Still there are others
who feel the need to tell me how much worse it’ll be in the years to come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is this really something you want or need to
say to me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do I need to have more dread
of the future?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be honest, the future
does not scare me and I know, for me, it will not get worse; there is no worse
for me to experience in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
loss of child is the unhappiest experience with no bottom to the pit of despair;
but I choose to be immersed in my positive memories and private joys of my life
with him instead.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Others are afraid of talking to me at all so they change the
subject as quickly as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still
others are squeamish and perhaps the word “cancer” sets them to fear and
distress and they don’t want to share with the grieving person. I, myself,
cannot listen to a cancer commercial (and there are loads of them on TV) so I
mute the TV and I guess that is normal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some people are afraid to share their joys, grandchildren
stories or just family stories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love
hearing about your families and how wonderful your lives are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not jealous of your lives or personal
joys and I ask you all to tell me every detail with a broad smile and
enthusiasm.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what do I want from my friends and family?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to remember my son as a vibrant,
intelligent, and much loved individual; one whom was famous or infamous for his
fast talking; fast eating; life that amazed so many.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I enjoy thinking of him as a child, a teen,
and an adult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I enjoy remembering some
of our fights, our laughs, and our average days together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most of my memories are of Jeremy ages 0-21
since that is the range of time we lived together (if you count college as
living together).</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My memories are beautiful, vivid and distinct and bring a
smile and a few tears to my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
enjoy celebrating who he was to me and to others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love hearing from his friends who tell me
about their distinct memories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyday
is an “Our Town” day for me striving to recollect the most insignificant day
and enjoy that day as a perfect memory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So if you don’t know what to say, just listen… and let me share my
beautiful son with you.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-60049610167731889142014-05-17T09:40:00.000-04:002014-05-17T09:50:09.785-04:00What’s in a name? What’s in a number? Here are ten thoughts I have about growing older and maybe wiser… <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E3j5UZgy9j4/Te_kBLHRQCI/AAAAAAAAABk/tzg3OhJGSEQ/s1600/2011-02-06+006zeff4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E3j5UZgy9j4/Te_kBLHRQCI/AAAAAAAAABk/tzg3OhJGSEQ/s1600/2011-02-06+006zeff4.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I am sixty-two….62….6 decades
plus two more years but what does that mean?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
Numbers are supposed to add up but how does age equivocate to life passage? </span>Well I am not sure about the full definition because I have learned to count my years in terms of learning rather than time travel.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">What have I learned so
far?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Number one:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I am not always right; this was a tough
one for me cause I balanced my days on being right and now I know the truth, I
am sometimes wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well this is not
really a big discovery but I have been fighting it for decades and now I have
come to peace with it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Number two:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the older I get, the more I feel:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>tired, a little arthritic, a little less
likely to get up and exercise, and a little less “get up and go.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assume my body is a little tired so I read
more; in fact, I read a lot and that’s a good thing;<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Game of Thrones”, anyone?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Number three:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t hear my mother’s voice in my
head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hear all these women say that
they do but I don’t, does that make me different or not the norm?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Guess what, I don’t care.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Number four:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I care less and less and less what other
people think of me or anything for that matter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I leave others to their own thoughts and definitions of life; I like
mine; it’s easier not to care of others and their persnickety ways.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Not my mother’s word in case you were
wondering).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Number five:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have rid myself of those others who burden
my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not “everyone’s cup of tea”
(my mother did say this but so did everyone in her time) and so I leave those others
who don’t care for me to themselves to stew and talk about each other without
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I assume it makes them happier and
me a lot happier.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Number six:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love my son more than I love any other
person and I think that is how it should be.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Number seven:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I accept my mistakes and move on and I mean
move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So what if I had not lived my
life perfectly (have you or anyone else?)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I just don’t feel its necessary to relive or review my imperfections.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Number eight:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sunny days are better than rainy ones and
there are always more sunny days than rainy ones; I haven’t actually counted
but I think I am right about this so if it’s raining, wait the sun will come
back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Patience is a virtue worth
cultivating.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Number nine:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like certain activities:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>writing, riding my bike, being with Joe,
seeing my friends, looking at happy pictures of my past, playing with The Zeff,
reading, and driving to the beach so I think I am going to do more of these and
less of other things.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Number ten:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I prefer foods that taste good, that are good
for me, and ones that may actually prolong my life because I love living
regardless of the pain or anxiety that life may direct my way; remember rule
number eight; the sun will shine again and if not, I hear you can buy a special
lamp that gives you the equivalent of pure sunshine.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Be happy, be sunny, and do
what you like in life that makes you happy; don’t wait until you are 62….</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-12801314437854321942014-05-11T12:28:00.001-04:002014-05-11T12:29:47.968-04:00Mother's Day....my favorite day.<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">My
son lives on the west coast and many people say, “Don’t you miss him since he
lives so far away?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Giving this much
thought, I say, “No” because I see my son everyday and everywhere.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
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dad.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
see my son as a man; good, wise, and reverent to all.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
see my son as a husband, caring and loving with eyes of admiration for his
wife.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I
see my son everywhere in all that is good and kind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t miss my son because he is far away; I
have him with me everyday and always.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aiXVGYnXTjY/U2-k--L7XpI/AAAAAAAAASo/r-hYclblSrw/s1600/IMG_0006.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aiXVGYnXTjY/U2-k--L7XpI/AAAAAAAAASo/r-hYclblSrw/s1600/IMG_0006.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-66218846165563513252013-03-14T10:20:00.000-04:002013-03-14T10:20:21.115-04:00Emotional playout...are we having fun yet?
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
What is emotional playout?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is a not so rare condition that allows couples, partners, friends,
and family members to “share” their stressors with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Close personal relationships create emotional
bonds between and among people allowing the screen of pretension to come down
and therefore allowing the furnace of emotion to open with no filters,
sometimes full blast.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we agree to have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">real</i>
relationships with people as compared to superficial ones, we open up a bond
that brings down the walls of the protection that we normally reserve for most
people in our lives. We open the gates freely and allow all of their Trojan
horses to enter without compunction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
accept the baggage, even welcome to the chance sometime to alleviate their
stressors by absorbing them in the name of sharing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life’s most potent stressors (the ones that cause life
limitation like marriage, divorce, moving, death in the family) are embraced
for the sake of our human relations. This is one of the strengths of our
humanity; the true sharing of responsibilities; the good, the bad, and the
ugly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What we have to learn to do though is not to adopt the
stressors and make them our own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need
to release ourselves of owning the responsibilities but act more as a sounding
board that reflects the stressor and one that doesn’t adopt it instead.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because if we own the adopted stressor, who
will we give it to in return?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And, this
I perceive, is the cause of many a repeated argument between and among our personals.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You gave me this stressor and now that I am
stressed, I return the favor and the original stressor gets piggybacked on the
new one and so on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These stressors also
have a way of popping up at regular intervals as a reminder of the previous
stressor and then, folks, we have simply an argument and we have lost the
ability to act as a support mechanism…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Relationships require seesawing so that when I am up, I can
allow you to bring me back to even with your stressor and vice versa.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I am down, don’t keep me there by piling
more weight on top or else I cannot be there as the shock absorber you truly
need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We all want great relationships
with our friends, family and significant others; this can only happen with some
fair play, don’t you agree? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-4869415170260732522013-03-13T10:13:00.000-04:002013-03-13T10:13:45.415-04:00I forgive you...
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I forgive you</i>;
these are difficult words for many people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What does it take to forgive someone?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Most of us just gloss over the issue and pretend that everything is all
right even though we don’t utter these words. That’s okay since our forgiveness
is in our actions rather than our words…but what of those individuals who
cannot or will not forgive?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have lived long enough to know that forgiveness is more
about the person who was hurt rather than the act itself but the pain caused by
a hurt lingers and remains as long as forgiveness is not allowed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our resistance to forgiveness hurts us more
than the transgressor always.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It impairs
our personal vision and colors our daily lives; it takes energy to resist
forgiveness since that is the normal state of peace in our personal humanity;
it acts as a burr in our thoughts; often demanding more energy from our souls.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have learned to forgive and it has taken some strength to
do so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having had a few controlling
experiences that consumed me in my life; I have had to let go of these issues
and move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a skill worth
developing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Before I was able to forgive, I tried to block the person and
situation from my thoughts…impossible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
was consumed by anger and distress and as those who know my life story might
agree, I had the right to be angry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
what did it do to me?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When you watch “The Wizard of Oz” you are told that bad or
angry witches are ugly and good witches are beautiful (although Glenda didn’t
really rate as beautiful in my opinion she just had a nicer outfit.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But there is some truth to this reasoning…anger
makes you ugly inside if not outside as well; it scorches your feelings and
dulls the mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So if this is true, why
can’t we just forgive?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Forgiveness is not about saying what the transgressor did
was okay, it’s about lessening the power this hurt has over you. So I have allowed
myself to forgive me for holding onto the negative power so long…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I guess forgiveness begins with me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-5668225270037477112013-03-10T09:30:00.000-04:002013-03-10T09:30:41.348-04:00Love is a mystery to me...
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Love is a mystery to me; do
we love to be loved back? Do we love so that breathing is easier? Is loving a
natural event for everyone or only those special selective few we see in the
movies?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Loving seems obvious when you
witness it but is it?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do we really
understand why people cling together in emotional attachment?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And more importantly, do we really know what
love feels like when we do have it? Is it too ethereal for us to feel and touch
like the brush of a light wind across your cheek?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">It’s difficult to love
someone with all of his or her “personality” and uniqueness (and we all have
our own specialness that may make us more difficult to love.) We can clearly
become infatuated with someone for a variety of reasons but when that infatuation
fades, what is left?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is that love or do
we merely cling together because we need to be needed?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I believe that love and need
are inseparable and, in fact, may drive many a relationship together or apart; some
of your needs have to match, even if nothing else does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">A bad relationship is like a
bad hairdo; it may look fine on someone else; it may only look good when
someone else does it for you but when left to your own devices, you just cannot
make it look the same and so you are left with a broken smile that’s hard to
fix.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Relationships and love are a
lot of work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are no easy, natural
relationships.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Human beings are
difficult, self centered, and damaged from years of wear and tear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have secret desires they never tell
anyone but themselves for fear of being too vulnerable; too exposed; too open.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I know that I want an honest
relationship; one that is exposed, vulnerable and dangerous, yes dangerous
because once you open that secret door to yourself, it can never be closed. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">I have learned something very
important, that loving yourself is the key to a successful relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the primary reason most people cannot
thrive in a relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did anyone
ever teach you how to love yourself first? I wasn’t taught this and it has
taken me a lifetime to discover. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">If you don’t give yourself the
real opportunity to love yourself as you are then you are missing the most important
opportunity for love in your life; accept yourself, express joy in who you are
(stop worrying about who or what you aren’t); at least take off your mask and
expose yourself to you and realize that you’re not so bad; that you deserve to
be loved; that you are not an imposition on life and others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone will not love you, in fact few
people really do but let those that try to love you see the real you, warts and
all and just maybe you’ll find love in cinemascope.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-21626109449065862412012-11-15T08:12:00.002-05:002012-11-15T08:12:57.052-05:00What just happened?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I try to
watch the news everyday but where is it?
I feel like the news has succumbed to a social media event rather than
detailing actual events. They seem to
create the news for us and why? Isn’t
there enough real out there to report on?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">After
watching the love fest between the media and our president yesterday during his
first lame duck presentation, I began to wonder what the media was all
about. Where are the hard hitting
reporters who feel the need to protect the public from ….everything? Lois Lane is gone and she has been replaced
by a sycophant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I grew up
listening to Walter Cronkite who held no allegiances with any organization or politico
and reported the news with dignity and respect but it was truthful. All of
the news today is like Wikipedia; a conglomeration of opinion with no fact
checking until it’s too late. When did
Facebook become the model for the Today Show?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We can
probably agree that the news media is more of an entertainment industry now,
vying for ratings as the chief issue, rather than respectful and insightful reporting;
but why did this happen? Are we merely
interested in being voyeurs rather than intelligentsia? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I spend my retirement
day searching for real unadulterated (pun intended) news and do you know where
I find it? I find it more on YouTube
than on mainstream media environments.
Of course I have to skip over the many people trying to achieve stardom
but there are undiluted videos of world events as taken by the participants on
site in world news events. But trying to
find real news on YouTube is like trying to find books from the Library of
Congress that have been dumped on the floor; its challenging at best.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I am tired
of the starlet and coiffured news of today and long for the real news of
yesterday. Now I am not unaware of the
filtered news of the past; controlled by politicians but when real news
occurred; I could at least trust the reporter to try his best. And let me say this is not just an age thing
that I am older and want to see older reporters because each station has their
version of the older reporter for suit my eyes; it has to do with reporting
integrity which seems to have slipped into the nether region of today’s media
(pun intended again, sorry.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-85661589608515489662012-11-14T11:26:00.001-05:002012-11-14T11:26:50.930-05:00When is too old to live alone?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The older I
get, the more I realize that my days of independence are dwindling. Both of my parents are deceased but my significant
other’s mother, one I refer to as mom, is finding life in her own home more
complex than before but mostly for us.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We worry constantly
and she laughs it off with her usual alacrity.
I think her goal is to die in her own home and why shouldn’t she feel
this way? Her friends and neighbors are
there for her; her family members make regular visits; but is this enough and
is this reasoning correct?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We all want
to ensure that our wishes are followed as we age but are we making the correct
decisions and are we thinking right? The
older I get, the more determined I get but I have noticed that I am not
always correct about what I am thinking. I
have started to perceive that stubbornness creeps into my mind that defrays the
former astute logic that once replaced these same thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Each week on
TV, I hear about senior, senior citizens who drive long after their reflexes should
allow them to which results in them doing permanent damage to others all in the name of independence.
Which is right? I always think you err
on the side of logic; on what’s good for the general population as compared to
what’s right for just me but when should I make that determination or is it
something my son and/or friends will do?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We start our
lives being dependent upon others totally….are we meant to end our lives the
same way? I am a part of the baby boomer
generation; a large group of independent beings full of pride and quite capable
of running our own lives until we are not able.
When does that happen and will I know it or does it just creep up on you
like a bad chill in the night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have
always believed that my brain was my best asset and that was all I needed to
bring me happiness but what good is a fine brain trapped in a useless vessel that doesn't respond to everyday commands? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I want to
remain self aware. I do not want to be a
burden to my son or others. I want to be
fiercely independent. Please grant me
the reason to know when I need help…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-31057809656616725122012-11-11T09:43:00.000-05:002012-11-11T09:43:08.492-05:00Shattered glass…<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "MS Gothic"; font-size: 14.0pt;">When tempered
glass is broken, it shatters but it clings together as a safety measure. The people I know and have seen affected by
hurricane Sandy look like splintered tempered glass. They are all put together yet broken by the
effects of the storm.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "MS Gothic"; font-size: 14.0pt;">We
can all say that they mostly lost “things,” personal effects by and large, but
what has this experience cost them. You
see them on television saying they will rebuild or not; some crying; some not;
some looking for that one insignificant piece of memorabilia that hung on the
refrigerator; but they all look shattered; violently demolished like the homes
they once shared.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "MS Gothic"; font-size: 14.0pt;">Yesterday
I attended a family party and several members of the family came even though
they were victims of the storm. They
came to celebrate a positive event but their eyes were deadened by their own
tragedies and their exhaustion was palpable.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: MS Gothic; font-size: medium;">As a
child, we moved often, mostly because my mother </span><span style="font-family: MS Gothic;"><span style="font-size: 19px;">couldn't</span></span><span style="font-family: MS Gothic; font-size: medium;"> afford to pay the
rent. There were times when I came home from
elementary school only to find a sheriff’s notice on the door with chains
forbidding entry: eviction. Sometimes, we stole back in the night to attempt to
retrieve personal effects, sometimes not.
I remember the horror of someone, something forbidding my entry into my
home. I remember the loss of safety as
my home was taken away. I remember
searching for that one insignificant item that would make me feel better. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: MS Gothic; font-size: medium;">I understand
the loss these people feel. I recognize
the look in their eyes. </span><span style="font-family: MS Gothic;"><span style="font-size: 19px;">I've</span></span><span style="font-family: MS Gothic; font-size: medium;"> seen it in the mirror. I know what it’s like to be shattered
glass. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "MS Gothic"; font-size: 14.0pt;">They
need genuine care, human warmth and understanding, and comfort, some of which
will only come when they reconnect with their new home environment; when they
can feel safe and whole once again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "MS Gothic"; font-size: 14.0pt;">I wish
them peace. They will never forget how
this feels. They are forever changed.
The mirror will never let them forget.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-42468221377615551992012-10-29T11:28:00.000-04:002012-10-29T11:28:01.498-04:00Hello Sandy….<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I haven’t known many Sandys in my life and I’m not referring to
hurricanes but people named Sandy but I’ve always been fond of that name. It’s probably the reference to Grease, the
play, or Sandra Dee in general, that makes me think positively but now we have
a hurricane named Sandy.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Why do they give hurricanes names and personify them at all? They are natural occurrences of nature but
they are usually devastating events no matter where they occur. I realize they rotate the names based on the letters
of the alphabet and, to be politically correct, they now name them after men as
well as women but why name them after people?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I was always told my elders, as a child, that they named the
hurricanes after women because they are so unpredictable, like women, and after
all doesn’t the word hurricane include the phonogram “her”. But what about the devastating effects caused
by these storms; the loss of life, the loss of personal effects? In fact, they don’t name tornadoes and they
don’t name cyclones, the other version of hurricanes, do they?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">When something is personified, it is done so to add human
attributes to a non human entity like Peter Rabbit but storms just don’t fit
that moniker, do they? They are not
friendly, they are not welcomed, they are not indicative of human nature, or
are they?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As I understand and have experienced human nature, we can be
beastly creatures, unpredictable, and generally uncontrollable at times, in
fact, murderous entities unwilling to stop until we peter out from exhaustion. Well maybe I am making a case for
personifying tropical cyclones after all.
We all remember the significant weather events like Gloria, Irene, and
others especially on Long Island.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I live in Florida now but I find myself up in New York for
Sandy. I have personally lived through a
number of these storms and was more affected by their resulting damage then
their interim storm event. Like others,
I found it fascinating to witness the aftereffect of the muscle of these
storms: the floods, the downed trees; the loss of power; the sheer power of
wind and rain.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> Sandy is already overstaying
her welcome in the NY area and I am already tired of the reporters standing in
the same areas where people have been forced to evacuate. How many times can we watch their hats
blowing off; their camera lenses filled with raindrops offering breaking news
of overflowing banks, loss of electric power; and reporters standing in sea
foam and water?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Now I understand why they name these storms; we
are all voyeurs titillated by forceful and uncontrollable characters; all this
and just in time for Halloween; trick or treat anyone?</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-76791404205599422042012-10-27T11:52:00.000-04:002012-10-27T11:52:20.670-04:00Coffee please...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">There is so much I want to say in these blogs. My life is so much more enriched as a senior citizen
than it was in my youth and I feel compelled to analyze and share so that
others might share this moment along with me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> I now have the time to be
gracious. I have the time to be
thankful. I can enjoy so many of the
atomic particles of happiness that I missed before with my hurried and me
centered life style.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I think that the older you get, the more you slow down but that’s
not a bad concept. I am starting to
sense the lovely nuances of life that I missed in my speedy, hurry up and do
lifestyle.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Yesterday I had a beautiful day; we had some of our relatives
over; the older set, and it was wonderful. When was the last time you sat with
a World War II veteran and his bride and had the chance to laugh over the
silliest of jokes? He’s an amazing man;
full of life, tender, silly, sweet; and he has to be one of the most adorable men
I have ever met. So caring, loving, and still in love with his sweetheart of
over 65 years who shares the same love and tenderness with him and all others. Their bond, their love is engaging and one
that makes you feel warm all over.
What’s also remarkable is that I am not envious of them because I feel
included in their love; their relationship emanates such warmth to all those
around them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Don’t you want to know where all of these sweet sensitive men are; the
considerate ones, the ones who wake each morning asking themselves how they can
make their spouses happy each and every day?
They are all around us and yet we have trouble noticing them. I think it’s
because we, as women, forget to ask ourselves how to make our spouses happy
first. Is this an old fashioned concept, a fairy tale that is unattainable?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So, you might be thinking, you have to be an octogenarian to experience
this type of happiness but the answer is no.
You also might be wondering if these types of relationships are
fictional at best or lost to the current generations but the answer is no
again. And finally, you might believe
that these story bound relationships are too rare to believe in but the answer
is again no.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">I know another much younger couple, Mimi and John, who have this special
bond and and have had this type of mystical marriage
for so many years. What’s the answer
then? I believe the secret is
twofold: each partner has to have the
same drive and intentions to want to please the other. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 19px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 19px;">We've</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> all heard that you get more happiness
by pleasing others yet our society promotes the “happiness of one” style; encourages you to forget the others in your life if they are
too hard to please and just please yourself…a </span>walkman<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">/ </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 19px;">I Pod</span><span style="font-size: medium;"> mentality. But the true joy of life comes with pleasing
others which includes your strong personal relationships as well as casual
strangers and this formula works for all.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Bing Crosby will soon be encouraging us to “count our blessings” as
the holiday season descends upon us but I say create your blessings; show the
people you love, real love; think of them first; do something small, gesture
like, and make sure when they say they love you; tell them you love them <b><i>more</i></b>
and mean it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-35332963239213840172012-10-23T12:16:00.001-04:002012-10-23T12:16:56.507-04:00Happiness One Day at a time: Facebook is our new collective memory…<a href="http://brooklynmanic.blogspot.com/2012/10/facebook-is-our-new-collective-memory.html?spref=bl">Happiness One Day at a time: Facebook is our new collective memory…</a>: I know I am getting old because I spend a lot time reflecting; looking backwards if you will. My memory of certain days in the past is sk...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-2336860062620711752012-10-23T12:14:00.003-04:002012-10-23T12:14:24.651-04:00Facebook is our new collective memory…<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I know I am getting old because I spend a lot time reflecting;
looking backwards if you will. My memory
of certain days in the past is sketchy at best and I rely heavily on others
with their sketchy memories to fill in the blanks for me…that’s where Facebook comes
in. It’s the new collective truth about
the past.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Joe says the best times of our lives are behind us and he has fond
memories of his childhood even though his occurred in Carnarsie of all
places. He liked the 50’s; I </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 19px;">didn't</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">. It was a great family time for him and a bad
one for me. I prefer to live in the 60’s
and a little bit of the 80’s in my reveries.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I like all of the “remember when” references on Facebook. It gives me a jolt to my memory and allows me
the option of dredging up childhood memories that I choose to think about. I also enjoy the “pile on” effect where lots
of people add to the memory chain and refer to their own personal experiences. I can picture the smiles on their faces as they
comment on the sweet thoughts that they just shared with others.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Some people have fabulous collections of their past. One friend, Luke, has an amazing history in pictures
of his past and shares them willingly with everyone. I envy his collection and I spend hours staring
at the small black and white photographs to see the many faces of people I know,
knew, and encountered in my past. You
can see the essence of who someone is in these early pictures; their smiles
seem to always stay the same (or their lack thereof); the part in their hair;
the people they are clinging to in the photo; is there a dog in the frame? What
street are they standing on? What’s in the background?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">The other day someone put a video of a parade online and I
actually saw myself as a careless 14 year old marching down the street. I barely recognized this young teen version
of me and it seemed to catch me totally unawares. Who was that girl? Where is she today? Is that me or is that some girl I don’t know…
Did that girl really grow up to be me?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It’s difficult to say how much I resemble that 14 year old because
that seems like another lifetime away from me.
I could see how haunted I looked in those days even though I was smiling
faintly. How I wish that I could be that
14 year old girl looking at my 60 year old picture today and drawing
conclusions. What would I see? What would I think about this older woman? What conclusions would I draw? Oh Facebook, did you mean for these thoughts
to occur or is this an accident of happenstance. Either way, thanks for sharing
everyone; keep putting those pictures up so we can all see and remember what
once was.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-73508846779072966432012-10-22T08:05:00.002-04:002012-10-22T08:05:52.804-04:00In the wee small hours of the morning...<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">You know that time of the night when it’s morning to you but not
to any one else? That’s the time that I
have a myriad of conversations with people in my head. I argue, I love, I cry, I think….too much.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It seems to happen more now that I am older and I am positive that
this effort is a totally useless activity.
I say all the things to the ghosts of people present, past and probably future
that I want to say, need to say, feel obligated to say. Now there is nothing wrong with this except
for the fact that I assume what these people would say back to me and I am
usually wrong in determining their responses.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">Our perceptions of what people think is usually full of
misunderstandings and so we torture ourselves with what we believe other people
are thinking with very little evidence to support our beliefs. Example:
I haven’t heard from my friend in a while so she must be angry with me
for some forgotten promise? Not true,
she is just busy with her life as I am as I learned </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 19px;">yesterday</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Nighttime presents some unusual opportunity for these one-sided
conversations. The nighttime darkness actually seems to lend itself to this suspension of belief and allows my mind to wander off; spiral off in multiple
directions down alleyways of directionless and really mindless channels.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">After I argue all of my pointless points with the ever unpresent,
I feel no better, no more resolved than anyone would sporting a one-sided
conversation should. So why do
this? Well this self-inflicted game is
no more controllable than assuming you can make the sun rise faster. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What I have learned recently is how to break the syndrome when I
realize that I am caught in this web of regret and pointless offline discussion
thread. I reach across the bed and put
my arm around Joe. Touching him, feeling
his warmth and comfort seems to relax me; in fact, release me from this
struggle and makes me realize that all I have to worry about is making his
lunch for work…is that bad?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-12597314357756700042012-10-20T09:21:00.002-04:002012-10-20T09:21:58.136-04:00Cancer Strikes Such a Nerve in All of Us<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">After my recent blog describing my son and sister’s diagnoses of
cancer and what it has meant to me, I received literally hundreds of
responses. I was overwhelmed with the messages
of support but more importantly, I was stunned with the number of response
stories of cancer in other people’s lives and what it has meant to them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">An oncologist told me recently that we all have cancer cells or
irregular cells in our bodies and there are a myriad of factors in each of us: genetics,
eating habits, and immunity factors, which drive the potential for these
irregular cells to grow and be labeled as cancer. So I ask, is there more cancer around today
or are we just more aware?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">It seems that we all know someone close to us with cancer and I began
to wonder why. Is it because we are
living longer and our immune systems seem to wane as we age? Is it because we eat so much junk? Is it because we forget to exercise? Is it because we inherited it? The answer seems to be yes or all of the
above and none of the above.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">If you don’t have a loved one diagnosed with cancer then you are
the exception these days and count yourself very lucky. In my age group of the 60 something’s, I can’t
find someone who doesn’t have cancer in their close circle. What’s important to glean from this factor is
not fear but strength. The more cancer
appears in our medical universe, the more research, surgical improvements, and general
health improvements there are as a result.
Remember when AIDS was a death notice?
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Although there needs to be so many more improvements: obviously
the best would be the clear prevention of the multiple layer generic description
known as cancer; science and the medical community have made many advancements
to prolong life for those afflicted.
What strikes me as funny is the fact that cancer is such a broad based description
of multiple diseases which are extremely unique and definable in so many other
terms. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Cancer makes us all recognize the fragility of life; the
importance of the quality of life; and the current limitations of the medical
establishment. With more genetic testing
identifying prominent factors that encourage cancer to grow in each of us; one
has to wonder if these mutations of cells is escapable or an obvious result of
aging. Now that we can improve our life
force chances with the early detection of cancer cells, one has to speculate as
to why we all don’t get tested on a periodic basis to determine our hidden cell
damage. I guess it must be too expensive
and I have heard from some people that they just don’t want to know if they
possess the gene that may cause cancer.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I remember in college, a thousand years ago, when one evening when
we were pulling an <i>all nighter</i> supposedly
studying and someone waxed philosophic and asked each of us, “Would you want to
know when you were going to die?” I can clearly
recall my answer as “No.” I was
concerned that such information would dominate my life and make me think of
nothing else. For me, this would be
true; I would be obsessed with such information. What I would prefer to know is
do I have a time bomb in me that could go off in the near future? Could I prevent
the bomb from exploding if I just did something different in my life to prevent
it? Well maybe and that’s the rub. We don’t know what really prevents cancer is
some and not others. We only know what
to do in hindsight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So for today, I will exercise, eat better, and wonder about my
genes donated by my ancestors and be as vigilant as I can or just eat chocolate
instead; that seems to work too. I guess
we all have to decide for ourselves; most of us just prefer not to think, I
think.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-39221406933496780272012-10-18T09:05:00.000-04:002012-10-18T09:05:00.089-04:00My son has cancer….<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">No matter how many times I say this to myself; it seems unreal but
it is true. My son is 30 and he has
cancer. I have watched him go through
the stages from afar. I say afar because
he lives on the opposite side of the country and having mom around is just not
an option at this point.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">What do you do while you wait patiently for updates? My son is an adult and is managing his
healthcare very appropriately with his wife and I am sitting on my hands trying
to keep from calling him everyday. I was
always the chief healthcare support person as he grew up and now I am not but
that’s as it should be. We, mothers,
have a tendency to say the wrong things to adult children because we still
think of them as children and they’re not.
We want to cradle them again and that’s no more attractive to them than
it is trying to cradle a porcupine. It’s
not that he’s prickly but the resulting image of returning to a child when you’re
facing such a live changing illness makes things worse; it takes his power
away.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">This has been a difficult lesson for me but I am learning and
doing better each and every day. My son
has been through multiple operations for a late stage colorectal cancer diagnosis
including a permanent ostomy. He suffered through radiation but complained very
little; he is learning to manage his new body part and loss of other body parts
and now he is in the final stages of chemotherapy and realizing the cost of
that procedure.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">He is very brave by my standards but says very flatly, “It’s not
like I have a choice.” My sister has breast cancer and I watched nervously as
she proceeded through her therapy with a stiff smile because she was in control
not the cancer and now I am watching my son do the same. My sister gives me some sound advice because
she understands cancer and I don’t. To
me it’s a thief in the night, dark and brooding, stealing life instead of
silverware, and leaving an indelible mark.
To her, cancer is abnormal cells that grow and as they grow, she won’t allow
them to take over her life or her body without a fight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">They say cancer changes people; I always thought it mean those
people with cancer but it changes all those around them as well. I am a little less frightened now (just a
little less); I am learning to be a
support person for my family members instead of the controlling one; I am learning that cancer is only a part of
the equation…that growing and changing your positive mental cells should be the
result.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-12384100045405396382012-10-03T09:30:00.002-04:002012-10-03T09:30:13.688-04:00I feel fat today….<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I
don’t understand how my body concept can change from day to day but it does and
today I feel fat. Does the scale agree?
I try not to get on the scale everyday and, in fact, I try to only get on the
scale on my skinny days (days I feel good about my body) but like a lot of
other women, I am obsessed with my body.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I
get a lot of pressure from the media of course like all women (wish I had an airbrushed
version of myself) but most of my negative internal feedback is just that “negative
INTERNAL feedback.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why
do we think this way? Men can walk
around with protruding bellies and take off their shirts at ballgames and think
“Man, do I look good” to themselves but women, we prefer to be hypercritical
and torture ourselves on a daily basis with no end or satisfaction in sight.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two
strong factors add to our mental chaos:
age and beauty. I feel the
sorriest for the really beautiful women in youth because they have even more to
lose in this shameful game of self recrimination. Although beauty can sometimes
escape age issues, eventually all beauty seems to be dependent upon good bones,
good skin, and a decent body.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I
grew up with two women I think are actually beautiful by most standards even
today as they enter their 60”s. When I
saw one recently, I remarked how beautiful she still was. I saw the pain on her face because she didn't think so. “ I've lost so much of my looks”
was her sad response.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Women
are just too critical of themselves and the noises in our heads are deafening
but what’s a person to do? How do you
retrain a lifetime of self criticism and angst living up to a model that doesn't exist? I often hear shouts of let’s rebel from the
Barbie doll media brand based model of womanhood but, in truth, we all succumb, no
matter how we protest otherwise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many
psychologists would say that knowing your demons is half the battle. I say knowing your demons means you recognize
their voices in your head and give them more credence so what’s a person to do?
I figure that I have two choices: accept
my feelings and eat ice cream anyway or ignore my feelings and eat ice cream
anyway. What would you do?</span><span style="font-family: Arial Unicode MS, sans-serif; font-size: 14pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-71453538116753649532012-10-02T11:00:00.000-04:002012-10-02T11:00:42.223-04:00You know all those emails old friends send you…well<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">At this point in my life, I have time to do some frivolous things
and enjoy them. I feel like the flower
in the time lapse photography email opening with beauty and with some selective
classical music playing in the background. Who had the time to take these
videos; probably someone my age?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> I have time and yet very
little time; if you know what I mean.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I have time to do things I have never done; what a luxury, but I
am also very aware of the time sequence attached to my life expectancy. No I am not dying anytime soon, unless you
know something I don’t. But my mortality
or rather my timeless vitality is clearly in question.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Although some women have had other time reminders like that baby
clock thing happening at a certain age: 30….42 (did I feel that way, I’m not sure?
I have the next sequence of time
concern: the senior vitality question looming.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">As I walk the malls now, I see the early morning walkers with
walkers, oxygen tanks and health aides supporting them. What would we all do without the Jamaican
health care aides who seem so sweet and caring? Will that be me in a few years?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I know I have lost some of my spark physically although I still
think I am vital for 60 but it seems that I have become preoccupied with how I
have shrunk (wasn’t I the tallest majorette in high school?) When I wash the
floors in the house, why do I awake with aches and pains I have never noticed
before; did that always happen? My skin
is…well; let’s not go there because it is too depressing especially when I
brush the cheek of someone in their 20’s.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: medium;">My life force is waning and I know it. It seems when I get together with friends our
age; it is the number one topic we all want to chat about. </span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 19px;">Aren't</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; font-size: medium;"> we lucky to be so healthy (and we are)? Aren’t we thrilled to be so able especially
when compared to our parents who were really old at 45? So what’s the problem?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I guess my generation wants it all: youth, vitality, and stamina (that’s more of
a guy’s thing I guess) and we’re not happy that age has its price. When I was pregnant with my wonderful son, I
used to say that he was tapping my life battery because I could feel the how
much he took out of my system as a pregnant woman. I guess it’s a little like that; the only
difference is age is beginning to sift off parts of my life force in exchange for
maturity, wisdom, and time to reflect.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Time is a funny concept measured in spoonfuls of life with mostly
the luxury to reflect rather than be in the now: I always wondered what present tense in
French meant.). So send me more of those
viral emails and You Tube suggestions because I have the time…<o:p></o:p></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5962118840389344339.post-46091873839143983632012-09-27T08:27:00.000-04:002012-09-27T08:27:55.446-04:00Whom should I vote for? Did I miss the election?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I
am beginning to worry about voting again; yes again. I go through this issue every four
years. In my short life of 60 years, I
have never had the pleasure of voting for someone in the presidential election
who actually got in and whom I respected (hard combination). Sound impossible? Does my vote even count?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">According
to the media; this election is all but decided and people in my age group, sex
group, and state have already chosen according to the polls. Should I even bother or have I already voted
and forgotten to notice? (A senior moment?)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Being
president is a big job and I tend to think maybe almost an impossible job for
this country. Isn’t it more about the
friends, colleagues, and relationships that make a president? Are they only valuable in hindsight? Do we ever appreciate someone when they are
in office?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">We,
as a society, have developed such a sense of mistrust and disrespect for those
in power, no matter the job. From the
cop on the street to the unreachable man in office, we are full of criticism
and misunderstandings to who they, those in power, are. We say horrible things about them; accuse
them of vicious intentions; and, in general, defile them in any way possible.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">In
truth, I am not sure why anyone in their right mind would run for office or
hold a position of temporary power unless it’s an ego thing. They know going into the fight that they are
going to be massacred in the press, on the local corner, and spend billions of
dollars for the potential of a short stint in the “chair of power.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I
am sure that Romney and Obama are good men with good intentions but do either
of them know anything about what this government should be doing to keep
America strong? I want to vote for a
good man (and hopefully some day a good woman). I want their hearts to be pure,
not selfish, to be very bright; to be great readers; good listeners; to be
someone who can make people believe in them, (I am speaking more of the
Congress rather than the average citizen); to be an empowerer not a power
seeker. I want this superman to fight
for what I believe in.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I
believe that this country is great but like any gigantic microcosm flawed. We are flawed because we care about causes
and causes are not always decipherable; they’re mushy issues. We are flawed because we believe different
things as a collective group and all of our opinions seem to count and yet none
of our opinions seem to count. We, as American people, are generous to a fault
and yet are reluctant supporters at the same time. I love this country as it is,
warts and all. I believe in the American
spirit and all of the same things that Superman believed in (isn’t that why
Superman chose to live in America, because we’re the best; or because we had
the most crime?)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">I
think it matters who becomes President of the United States but I am not sure
which path Romney or Obama will choose once selected. This voting season is much like my game of
pool; poke and hope will be my motto.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08164700541404050954noreply@blogger.com1