What just happened?

I try to watch the news everyday but where is it?  I feel like the news has succumbed to a social media event rather than detailing actual events.  They seem to create the news for us and why?  Isn’t there enough real out there to report on?

After watching the love fest between the media and our president yesterday during his first lame duck presentation, I began to wonder what the media was all about.  Where are the hard hitting reporters who feel the need to protect the public from ….everything?  Lois Lane is gone and she has been replaced by a sycophant.

I grew up listening to Walter Cronkite who held no allegiances with any organization or politico and reported the news with dignity and respect but it was truthful.   All of the news today is like Wikipedia; a conglomeration of opinion with no fact checking until it’s too late.  When did Facebook become the model for the Today Show?

We can probably agree that the news media is more of an entertainment industry now, vying for ratings as the chief issue, rather than respectful and insightful reporting; but why did this happen?  Are we merely interested in being voyeurs rather than intelligentsia?

I spend my retirement day searching for real unadulterated (pun intended) news and do you know where I find it?  I find it more on YouTube than on mainstream media environments.  Of course I have to skip over the many people trying to achieve stardom but there are undiluted videos of world events as taken by the participants on site in world news events.  But trying to find real news on YouTube is like trying to find books from the Library of Congress that have been dumped on the floor; its challenging at best.

I am tired of the starlet and coiffured news of today and long for the real news of yesterday.  Now I am not unaware of the filtered news of the past; controlled by politicians but when real news occurred; I could at least trust the reporter to try his best.  And let me say this is not just an age thing that I am older and want to see older reporters because each station has their version of the older reporter for suit my eyes; it has to do with reporting integrity which seems to have slipped into the nether region of today’s media (pun intended again, sorry.)

When is too old to live alone?

The older I get, the more I realize that my days of independence are dwindling.  Both of my parents are deceased but my significant other’s mother, one I refer to as mom, is finding life in her own home more complex than before but mostly for us.

We worry constantly and she laughs it off with her usual alacrity.  I think her goal is to die in her own home and why shouldn’t she feel this way?  Her friends and neighbors are there for her; her family members make regular visits; but is this enough and is this reasoning correct?

We all want to ensure that our wishes are followed as we age but are we making the correct decisions and are we thinking right?  The older I get, the more determined I get but I have noticed that I am not always correct about what I am thinking.  I have started to perceive that stubbornness creeps into my mind that defrays the former astute logic that once replaced these same thoughts.

Each week on TV, I hear about senior, senior citizens who drive long after their reflexes should allow them to which results in them  doing permanent damage to others all in the name of  independence. Which is right?  I always think you err on the side of logic; on what’s good for the general population as compared to what’s right for just me but when should I make that determination or is it something my son and/or friends will do?

We start our lives being dependent upon others totally….are we meant to end our lives the same way?  I am a part of the baby boomer generation; a large group of independent beings full of pride and quite capable of running our own lives until we are not able.  When does that happen and will I know it or does it just creep up on you like a bad chill in the night.

I have always believed that my brain was my best asset and that was all I needed to bring me happiness but what good is a fine brain trapped in a useless vessel that doesn't respond to everyday commands? 

I want to remain self aware.  I do not want to be a burden to my son or others.  I want to be fiercely independent.  Please grant me the reason to know when I need help…

Shattered glass…

When tempered glass is broken, it shatters but it clings together as a safety measure.  The people I know and have seen affected by hurricane Sandy look like splintered tempered glass.  They are all put together yet broken by the effects of the storm.

We can all say that they mostly lost “things,” personal effects by and large, but what has this experience cost them.  You see them on television saying they will rebuild or not; some crying; some not; some looking for that one insignificant piece of memorabilia that hung on the refrigerator; but they all look shattered; violently demolished like the homes they once shared.

Yesterday I attended a family party and several members of the family came even though they were victims of the storm.  They came to celebrate a positive event but their eyes were deadened by their own tragedies and their exhaustion was palpable.

As a child, we moved often, mostly because my mother couldn't afford to pay the rent.  There were times when I came home from elementary school only to find a sheriff’s notice on the door with chains forbidding entry: eviction. Sometimes, we stole back in the night to attempt to retrieve personal effects, sometimes not.  I remember the horror of someone, something forbidding my entry into my home.  I remember the loss of safety as my home was taken away.  I remember searching for that one insignificant item that would make me feel better.

I understand the loss these people feel.  I recognize the look in their eyes. I've seen it in the mirror.  I know what it’s like to be shattered glass. 

They need genuine care, human warmth and understanding, and comfort, some of which will only come when they reconnect with their new home environment; when they can feel safe and whole once again.

I wish them peace.  They will never forget how this feels.  They are forever changed. The mirror will never let them forget.