I forgive you...

I forgive you; these are difficult words for many people.  What does it take to forgive someone?  Most of us just gloss over the issue and pretend that everything is all right even though we don’t utter these words. That’s okay since our forgiveness is in our actions rather than our words…but what of those individuals who cannot or will not forgive?

I have lived long enough to know that forgiveness is more about the person who was hurt rather than the act itself but the pain caused by a hurt lingers and remains as long as forgiveness is not allowed.  Our resistance to forgiveness hurts us more than the transgressor always.  It impairs our personal vision and colors our daily lives; it takes energy to resist forgiveness since that is the normal state of peace in our personal humanity; it acts as a burr in our thoughts; often demanding more energy from our souls.

I have learned to forgive and it has taken some strength to do so.  Having had a few controlling experiences that consumed me in my life; I have had to let go of these issues and move on.  This is a skill worth developing.

Before I was able to forgive, I tried to block the person and situation from my thoughts…impossible.  I was consumed by anger and distress and as those who know my life story might agree, I had the right to be angry.  But what did it do to me?

When you watch “The Wizard of Oz” you are told that bad or angry witches are ugly and good witches are beautiful (although Glenda didn’t really rate as beautiful in my opinion she just had a nicer outfit.)  But there is some truth to this reasoning…anger makes you ugly inside if not outside as well; it scorches your feelings and dulls the mind.  So if this is true, why can’t we just forgive?

Forgiveness is not about saying what the transgressor did was okay, it’s about lessening the power this hurt has over you. So I have allowed myself to forgive me for holding onto the negative power so long…

I guess forgiveness begins with me.