Day 5: it takes so many more muscles to frown than it does to smile

Well, with a smile I say,  I am at day 5 and still excited about the blog; only 360 days to go to meet my goal (is next year a leap year???). 


Sleeping is not one of my best skills and I always admire those who sleep.  Since I have been awake since 3:52am, I want to be sure to temper my thoughts today and not be too revealing in my morning grogginess.


After one of my posts, a friend asked me if I weren't afraid of being too revealing. Before I answered, I really paused and thought before I responded (also not one of my best skills; I usually respond too quickly). Being afraid of showing my deeper feelings is not an issue for me.


I have always been "too revealing" my whole life.  I think our willingness to share our true souls is a lost art and as a point of fact, words seem to spill out of my mouth before I realize it. 


I have always felt a need to explain myself (sometimes over and over again, right honey).  I think it is simply part of my own internal process of understanding myself.  I think about this act as no more than thinking aloud.  I can understand how this concerns people who are truly more private and circumspect about their lives.(It that a euphemism for...)


I like my openness and willingness to put myself "out there."  I once saw a show on TV (yes, I also watch TV,  I am truly going to hell some day, aren't I) which said that you needed to walk around the house for one full day naked and to spend at least one full hour examining your body in the mirror (whew, talk about personal disappointment!).  


This sounds a lot like what I do, except for the real nakedness thing;  I don't mind baring my soul and getting "naked" emotionally especially if you find acceptance, support, or even just a good ear on the other end.

I am a complicated, multi-layered individual who is actually beginning to realize that I like myself.  I always tell people who want to suggest changes in my life that may improve my quality of living;  "I'm 59, I pretty much think I am staying the way I am," but now I think this isn't true.  I am constantly changing and happy about it so bring on the suggestions my friends,  I think it means you're listening to me, right?


And that makes me happy....