Day 52: Boy can I clean…

I clean when I’m upset. This is an accurate barometer for my emotions.  In the last few years, my home has been a little less pristine which means, I guess, that I’m not as upset as I used to be.

I like cleaning and I’m good at it.  I find it methodical and you see immediate results which often please everyone in your environment.  Scrubbing has such a positive effect on me.  I like the smells, the feeling of scrubbing, and the result. Putting your emotion into a hard sponge and returning a sink to white and clean settles my mind and heart.

I know that many of you will disagree with me about how “fun” cleaning is but to me it is, just that, fun.  I start with a plan for the room I am working in and work “around the clock” as I was taught by Hints to Heloise so many years ago.  The idea is that you work around the room as the hands of a clock turn on the dial.  This makes you seem more efficient and gives you a dramatic plan for being effective as well.

Cleaning brings a new feeling to your home and your mind.  Very often, my mind gets cluttered and uncomfortable.  Literally,  I think too much and I analyze things too much.  I allow small facts to derail my better thoughts and I need a way to exorcise these bad feelings from my system.

Some of you might ask why running, such a complete body and mind event, doesn’t do this for me but the answer is simple.  Running makes you think more, it doesn’t wipe your mind clear.  I need to parallel the process of wiping my mental hard drive and making me feel clean.

This morning, I am cleaning, I need to and it feels right.  I am enjoying returning the shine to my home; straightening my mind and the room I’m in.  I m returning the freshness and creating a positive and inviting atmosphere…and that’s just to my mind.

Day 51: I love a Parade

What is it about parades that makes me run to watch what could be the lamest of events? The local politicians, the homemade floats, the twirlers, and the different local groups walking and waving to friends and non friends alike is a scene that makes me smile and smile (I’m even smiling now just thinking of this).

The Fourth of July is literally my favorite holiday for a number of reasons. My one claim to fame growing up was my experience as a majorette in high school.  It was literally the highlight of my life at that junction. There is so much I want to forget about my life from age 0-17 that there is not enough paper to detail it but my one great memory is my experience as a majorette and my time in parades, especially the one on the fourth.

The shear exhilaration of the crowds laughing, waving, sharing a moment in unadulterated happiness is one that is captured in my mind’s eye and my heart forever. Even the time when my sister caught my eye on the sidelines taking my picture as I marched down the street and I dropped my baton doesn’t tarnish the memory.

There is something so Americana about the Fourth. I love the small townness, the simplicity, and the celebratory factor of it all. This is a day, especially during the parade, where everyone is smiling broadly and appreciating the small things in life. 

At the parade, everyone is there is to see someone walk down the street with a uniform of some sort: girl scouts, boy scouts, military, veterans, local dance groups, athletes, police, fire, and more.  At various parades during the years, I enjoyed some really creative groups like the “clowns from the gas company who were all dressed as clowns,” or the library precision drill team with the baskets of books moving in practiced formation.  Of course I would be remiss if I did not mention the Kenas dressed in suits with fezzes on their heads who appeared in a myriad of formations not to be undone by any other group.  My favorite Kena group was the one in the small race cars zipping around in circles and zigzagging all over the road.

Whatever the entertainment option, the parade delivers year after year with squeals of laughter and so many options for recognition of local friends.  Parades teach us something important…celebrate the small things, appreciate those who serve our community, and dress up for special occasions, especially the birth of our country.  Our country is the greatest one on earth…Happy Birthday America. Got to go, it’s time for the parade…

Day 50: A Day at the Beach...I can see for miles and miles

I cannot think of any place healthier to be on a summer day than the beach (or any other day for that matter).  The sun, the surf, and the people are all extremely entertaining. At the beach, there are no obvious visual boundaries with the exception of where the water meets the shore and I think that people sense this natural openness and place for exploration and self expression.

When we arrive, we tend to set up our boundaries (and limit the expansiveness of the environment), with chairs, blankets, and coolers.  Some people even draw visible lines around their encampment showing others that this space is taken.  But some people have no sense of boundaries and the mixing of these two types of people results in some chaos and a lot of humor.

Land boundaries have existed with humans since we first walked the earth.  We have always built safety nets around our homes whether they be temporary or permanent settings.  Some people are more exact in their approaches and others are more lax.

You can distinguish the differences between these two types of people sometimes by the bathing suits they wear (which really reveal a lot about your human condition inside and out).  I am sure you have seen bathing suits that don’t really suit their owners’ needs (or the observers).  Their boundaries are, I would say, not clear as they share more of their bodies with the surrounding folks than we would care to see.  In a way, I admire these people, especially the women. Men have a tendency to see their bodies differently than women and imagine themselves as more “studly” than they actually are and never seem to worry about their “look” in a semi nude setting.

Women are mostly prisoners of their bodies and the noise deafening media that dictates our boundaries, which is unfortunate, and I admire women who are no longer prisoners even if it means that they might be a bit “unsightly” to others on the beach.

You’ve seen these women, flaunting their comfort in our faces.  In some cases, I hear myself thinking that I didn’t know they made bikinis that large…and immediately regret thinking that at all.  Who says you have to wear a specific size to accommodate your extra flesh?  Is it really that threatening for plus sized women who feel sexy enough to celebrate their size?

I am lucky enough to have a body, mostly in shape because I run 5 days a week yet I do not have the “courage” to wear what they wear. Someday, I hope I’ll be free enough from my parochial views to wear more than a tank suit yet nothing too revealing I assure you.

As we continue to explore who we are and aren’t on a daily basis, I see how carefully crafted our egos are and how sensitive and fragile they remain regardless of our age. Someday, I hope to overcome the sensitivities that are useless to my life or may in fact hinder my personal progress. Until then, I will recognize the boundaries of the beach and enjoy those who don’t…

Day 49: How many ways can Mr. Met smile?

It is remarkable how Mr. Met, the mascot of the NY Mets, expresses himself in such a range of emotions!  He has so many words and ways to tell his story yet he never speaks, has only one facial expression, and very limited hand movement.  I love Mr. Met!  He (she?) is adorable and is a very active and endearing mascot.

When it comes to happiness, Mr. Met is the champion.  Regardless of the score on the field, Mr. Met is leading the emotional bandwagon as if the Mets were winning by “a laugher”. 

Recently, there have been a number of new Mr. Met commercials on TV that keep me laughing and smiling warmly long after they are over and done with.  There is something so endearing and engaging about him and he pulls at my heartstrings.

What can you say about a face that only smiles in such an appealing and sheepish manner?  What is so beguiling about him is that he seems to represent a child and an adult at the same time.  In one commercial,  he is looking at a dull office meeting and engaging two bored adults, getting them to chant actively(in silence) for the Mets.  In another, he has been made fun of for his poor handwriting when he shows the men his hands and his lack of ability to manipulate them (for handwriting purposes) and pulls at the men emotionally as a result.  Mr. Met’s ability to play both the cheerleader and the sensitive individual makes his character so likable.

I find Mr. Met irresistible because of his undying enthusiasm, sensitivity, and constant smile.  He is in an invariable positive thinking mode and fills our hearts even when the score is empty.  Some people say that walking around with a constant smile on your face appears fake and unappealing; they’ve never met Mr. Met.

Day 48: One no trump for dessert please

Cards are a favorite of mine, as games go. I find many games irresistible; all types, but I really love cards the most. I am fond of all of the varieties.  I play them online (against and with other players), on the desktop (alone) and I play as many different versions as I can.  Although I play mostly solitaire, I would rather be playing group card events if given the option. 

I started my love of cards with Pinochle in college where at 3 in the morning I learned a lot about myself and my ability to strategize.  I then moved on to hearts and finally graduated to the big time with Bridge.

I like a game with strategy, challenge, and a high potential of losing.  Yes, if the game is too easy, I have no interest in it.  It’s not that I like to lose, that’s not it at all; I always prefer winning but if the win ratio is too high; I move on and won’t play that particular game again because there is no challenge.

I like strategy; I like trying different moves to see the result as I am playing.  I am all about the “if this then that” concept.  I like applying my knowledge from one game to the next to see if what I’ve learned was an aberration or a truth for that particular game.  I like being fooled by the game and realizing that I may not have learned anything from previous ventures.  (I am actually smiling right now thinking of this.)

There is something lost for me transitioning from the old fashioned way of playing cards to the electronic versions. I have to say that I miss holding cards in my hand; laying them on the table whether or not I am playing a solitaire or a group game.  I count cards and suits in my head; which can be very annoying to other players.  I remember whether or not a card had been played in a round and I like doubling or watching others attempting to renege on a suit.  Am I getting too technical for you?

What is it about playing the game of cards that is so alluring to me?  I would have to say the facility of being able to play it anytime, anywhere, either alone or in a group is a big plus.  This is why there are so many of us out there; playing all of the time throughout the day.  We can play on our smart phones, iPads, desktops; you can buy electronic versions that play only cards…the choices are endless. 

Human minds like being busy, engaged in an active mental pursuit.  Our brains are always searching for something to keep them from being fallow as a field without seeds.  Cards, like chess and other strategy games, activate our excitement centers in the brain and I know why.  There is always the possibility of no two games resulting in the same ending; there is always the chance that the game will end differently.  This is irresistible to the mind and so is most gaming.

Gaming involves chance and sometimes skill. You always have to remember that the deck is always stacked against you in reality.  But, if the brain thinks it has a chance to beat the system, it will try and the result is fun…it is alluring.  It’s better than dessert…

Day 47: What if?

In my current state of semi-retirement, I cannot help but look around at all of the jobs I had never had and wonder what route my life would have taken if I had walked down any of those alternative  paths instead of the ones I did; so many choices, so many prospects.  I get a similar feeling when I look around at a concert or ball game and marvel at all of the people I see, the faces I don’t know, so, so many.  Who are they? Are they having fun? I examine their faces with some precision.  I like looking at people and wondering about them.

I constantly like to flirt with the idea of what if (especially now that I have the time to do it.)  What if I were reinventing myself today at this point in my life…or better yet earlier when I was much younger; what if I had gone with an entirely different profession than I did. How would my life today be different today or would it? There are so many alternatives; so many formulas for success to examine.

If I were making a choice today, I think my professional direction would center on occupations that entertain people; ones that keep people amused or in high spirits.

No, I don’t see a clown face in my future (not that kind of entertainment) but I’ve always toyed with the idea of working in a 5 star hotel, something with a casino attached perhaps and the opportunity to travel and live abroad as an option to the employment.  How magnificent would that be to work for a company that sent you all over the world to live, to engage, and to interact with people of all cultures on their dime?

Years ago, I heard about what I thought was a really incredible job:  working on the Queen Mary and engaging senior citizens in conversation, cards, dancing and dining experiences to enhance their travel experience.   Qualified persons should be well educated, interested in multiple hobbies, capable of mixing well with guests and seaworthy.  This sounded like me to the letter except I was married to a non traveler at that time, had a family; had a job that needed me (or so I thought), and was definitely landlocked and so this path was uncrossed and untested.

People who engage others in amusement activities must be a particularly unique breed. I picture the cruise mentality with a little Disney thrown in for good measure:  Smiles, enchanting personalities, outgoing individuals who enjoy the act of connecting with people; artists of humanity.

It’s a wonderful thing to have time on your hands to think about the future, the past; it’s undoubtedly a luxury of sorts; a mental sport of thinking fun. But I have a theory about fun and enjoyment: it should not be a passive activity (is that an oxymoron?).  Personal and social engagements must be an active sport; one that causes your mouth to reflex into a smile and your mind to have the time and luxury to engage in “what if’s”. 

Day 46: …Are we friends now?

Sometimes, I find it very challenging to tell my real friends apart from those who are not my friends, especially online.  They may look a lot alike; especially on Facebook and other social networking sites. We “friend” each other all the time but what does that really mean?  It supposes a relationship but what is that relationship about? We have become internet friends, is that good enough?

Recently, I have made the mistake of reaching out to internet friends for advice and/or support.  I suppose I thought it was like telling your life story to the stranger sitting next to you on a plane. You don’t have to see their faces online which might be showing disapproval and you can vent your personal issues ad nauseum. Only, there is a gigantic difference; what goes on the internet lasts forever and these people may not really be your friends.

Writing this happiness blog is complicated at times.  It requires regular personal life examination and searching for answers to my life’s dilemmas but we all need to be conscious of the limitations of introspection for improvement.

On the internet, people can be brutally honest, or mean, or uncaring, or wonderful, or thoughtful but it all sounds the same.  Without the intonation and stress of live speech, do you really know how something is said or how it is meant?  Also, life messages are delivered in Twitter size statements; how much can you read into that?  Ann Landers and Dear Abby would cringe at the text message sized retort to life’s major concerns.

Personally, I find that it is my own fault for asking for advice.  Advice is something personal and it really requires someone understanding multiple factors related to the situation to make an informed suggestion.  How well does this person know you today?  Many of our network friends are older and from your past, not your present.  Their knowledge of you ended when you or they moved away.  It is not their fault that they see you capable of making the mistakes of a 12 year old when that was the last time they saw you in person.  Or perhaps they know you from your job and they cannot tell the difference between personal issues and work issues caused by the job and the collective people in that work group?

Some of our network friends are just networking, looking for clients, jobs, and not “friends.”  The problem I see is with the word “friend.”   I think we need some new online vocabulary to distinguish these interactions or maybe we need to be careful with “friending” acquaintances. 

Either way, I am going to return to asking just my face to face friends for advice.  This way when they frown at my suggestion and tell me “I’m nuts for doing something;” I can see it and react because they care enough to tell me something important that may require more than 145 characters in an online message.  I like this decision; I think I’ll tweet this to all my friends…