I have particular issues with money and finance in general. Growing up poor and experiencing real live bill collectors first hand (who in those days came to the house… no phone); gave me an unnerving feeling about money and bills growing up. There are certain things I must do as a result:
· Pay my bills early and check several times during the month to ensure that payment was sent, received, and recorded
· Keep all receipts of payment forever for both online and direct payments
· Check my bank accounts daily, reexamining my money and making sure I have enough for the month (believe me I have enough for the month but it never feels that way).
· Keep my refrigerator full at all times even if it means that food goes bad and gets thrown away (which is a Cardinal sin to me and others; I am so Catholic, with a Jewish twist)
This sounds a little obsessive compulsive and perhaps I am (yes I am) but if you grew up in my life situation, you’d think it was normal. What is normal anyway? Who is the gold standard for normal, (oops money reference). I can tell that others suffer the same as I do because of my sisters who have similar issues and habits (the survey says). Also, I have a few friends who share the same financial upbringing and they share the same signs of personal distress regardless of how much money they have currently as well.
As a kid when the heat would be turned off for lack of payment (right in the dead of a New York winter) I prayed for money to drop from the ceiling so we could get warm again. Well money never dropped from the ceiling or anywhere; we sat around an open gas stove in the kitchen keeping warm and we slept with lots of clothes on (layers work somewhat). Did you know that when you open a hot gas stove like this in a freezing cold room, condensation forms on the ceiling and droplets fall on your head? Well at least something came from the ceiling if not money…
So, as a result, I am overly concerned about my money and the economy. When all the bills are paid and I have a little left over; into the savings account it goes. My son, although he grew up in a very comfortable home environment, well off most would say, is a very frugal individual. I think he learned my fears of money retention (is that like anal retention?) and turned it into a positive situation. He is financially secure, happy, and very, very frugal.
Well this economy makes me more nervous than ever, isn’t that obvious? What will prices be like in 5 years, in ten? Will I be financially able to drive my beautiful car? Well according to my financial planner, yes, I will be receiving sufficient funds to live a normal life but what is normal? I want to travel; eat at good restaurants, and maybe gamble a bit (I like gambling, I admit it). I am learning to have fun and fun, on most occasions, costs a little extra money. I like reading but….
I admit that I worry too much about everything: money, life, family, relationships, and bills and this list is not in any specific order of importance. Happiness means being aware but it doesn’t mean that you have no problems to worry about. Living is problematic; loving is problematic; problems can be solved but at what cost?
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