Day 27: I am a rock, I am an island…

I have a theory about life that I have thought about for many years, more than I can remember.  As you go through your days, you get hurt or angry or have negative feelings.  These feelings start as small pebbles and are capable of either falling off of you or getting wedged into your skin.  Those that fall off are quickly forgotten, possibly forever, possibly not, but those that are deeper hurts, those uncomfortable memories that get attached to your skin as small pebbles (or even begin as a boulder), start to irritate you and may become infected, whereupon they grow and fester. When these stones grow too large for being directly attached to your skin, they begin to hang and drag along side of you like Marley’s chains.

Now conversely, you knew there would be a conversely didn’t you, after all this is a happiness blog.  As you loosen the grip of these pebbles or rocks or boulders whatever size they may be, you begin to heal.  Healing does not mean you forget the source of the pain; it means that this burden is no longer being dragged along, holding you down. A scar from the source will probably always remind you of its presence but it can no longer give you the same pain or be a constant reminder.

Life is a water based sport. (I know more imagery?  I was an English teacher you know!) The strength of the water can pull you along, carry you with buoyancy, or drown you with a tidal wave of emotion.  Can you imagine your chances for survival if you have too many rocks and pebbles attached at the same time?  No one can swim for long, even the great Johnny Weissmuller (Tarzan, the one) with rocks attached, without difficulty and for any length of time.  This is why so many of us are drowning without understanding why.

So ladies and gentlemen, it’s time to release your rocks (get your rocks off; nope not that!) It’s time to let go of the past, forgive yourself, release the pressures, the pain, you’ve been carrying for so long.

            OK, you ask, how do you do this?  I know that I am asking a lot of you, of me, but it is possible.  Here are my steps to releasing the pain…

1.            Parent yourself; say to your inner child what you would say to your own child or someone you love.
2.       Be fair and kind to yourself, would you expect someone, anyone else to overcome such difficulties without the help of a caring individual.
3.       Look deep into the rock you carry, many times it has a Styrofoam core and only looks like a real rock.
4.       Reward yourself for dropping the rock (no food or desserts; that’s an inappropriate response; use something more positive like writing a blog (smile)
5.       Surround yourself with someone positive; don’t hang with the rocks as friends, they’ll only bring you down…
6.       Listen to yourself, say what’s hurting you out loud (even if you’re the only listener); saying things out loud is like turning on the light at night after a nightmare…it can help a lot.

Once the rock has been dropped, be careful not to pick it up and carry it by hand.  Let it go, feel lighter, be happier.  This is possible.  If I can do it, anyone can.  Remember if you love yourself, others will follow and then you just might get your rocks off…