Day 53: How to build a kitchen and a relationship

There is nothing that builds or challenges a relationship like redoing a kitchen.  If you don’t know what makes your mate tick, you will once you sit down to design and redo your kitchen.

Kitchens are very personal; eating is very, very personal.  Kitchens are about eating and living and nothing is more particular than that (except the bathroom for some).  I suppose that is why kitchens are considered the heart of the home, especially to me.

Kitchen remodeling shows a lot about each of us.  What do we value?  What kind of appliance is essential? What gadgets are superfluous, which are crucial? Which colors make you contented and ready to cook? How vital is light to you?

This is our first kitchen remodel together and we are doing well in hindsight but the day to day decision making process is still challenging.  We actually like a lot of the same things but we operate differently and so our decision making processes are exclusive.  What I do realize is that eventually we get to the same place just at different times.

We both like light that’s significant.  We both like the Tuscan look; that’s a plus.  We both like eating…and cooking and that is the problem.  People have cooking styles and personalities and thus may require different appliances or space at times.  I believe in the cooking/ washing triangle in the kitchen; fewer steps more action.  I also believe in creativity in the kitchen.  He is more process oriented and direct.  He is a step by step person and doesn’t like skipping steps.  I prefer the more holistic approach; the big picture first and teasing out the smaller details second.

We are surviving the process and the result will be a magnificent kitchen but more importantly, our relationship will be better, firmer, and grounded in our new kitchen.  I like the fact that we are doing better than surviving with this new kitchen as our catalyst.  It is clearly a test of our relationship and I am happy we’re making it.