Day 63: How Do You Check Your Oil?

You are supposed to check your car’s oil every other time you fill your tank.  Do you do this?  I have never done it because I rely on my car’s computer to tell me “what is what” and when to do anything and I shouldn’t.

There are two schools of thought about checking your oil and thus two commonly used methods to do this.  One way says to be sure your car is on level ground and then check the cold engine using the dipstick.  Another expert says be sure your car is on level ground and then run the engine for 2 minutes and then check the oil. I personally subscribe to the latter method.

People are like cars, we need to get our engines warming up before someone attempts to take our emotional temperature. As a teacher, the term dipsticking was used frequently to check for student understanding before proceeding to another more complicated or more important topic.  In the everyday world, we take a lot for granted when we assume that people in our communication link understand us.  The truth is they probably don’t. 

People ramble on in conversations for minutes before they start to notice the lack of understanding or attention the other person is paying to the conversation. We tend to have one of two reactions:  “you’re not listening to me!” or “you don’t care about what I am saying.”  In either case, the speaker is usually wrong.

We need to start our conversations, especially important ones, with an opening of sorts that stimulates the other person’s brain, something perhaps relevant to them.  Once we get their attention, then we can travel into to more relevant matters that may require a decision or a response.  I make this mistake all of the time and I have firmly resolved to start talking to people in my teacher voice instead.

I have resolved that I am going to capture their attention first and then proceed.  A case in point:  I moved last January.  I still have been unable to change my legal address with one of my banks.  I filled out their forms twice on their website and through emails, made phone calls twice and then wrote separate letters three times and sent them by snail mail. Recently, I received another form from the bank saying the post office has informed them of my move and to please contact them to provide evidence of this.

Today, I called again and of course I was immediately transferred to a call center in India.  A nice English as a second language (ESL) young Indian man answered my call at a call center.  His English was stilted but understandable.  We discussed my issue and he was unable to do more than repeat the standard facts; fill out the forms, send an email, send a letter. In my mind’s eye,  I could see the dialogue sheet in front of him while he read me my choices. 

I decided to apply my teacher’s knowledge and practice what I am preaching.  I asked him where he was right now.  He said India.  I asked him how long he had been speaking English.  He said over five years.  I asked him then what he would do for his mother if she were unable to change her address with this bank.  He said that he would have her fax him the information and he would transfer it for her.  I asked him if I could be his mother for moment. He paused.  I could hear him smile on the other end of the phone.

He gave me the fax information but told me he already changed my address online for me but the fax would confirm the change.  I thanked him profusely and told him I was a former ESL teacher and offered him a suggestion. I told him how frustrated Americans get with the call center concept.  I also told him that his speech although accurate was too slow and that he over enunciated his English which made it more difficult to understand. I practiced with him on the phone for a moment.  He was appreciative and warm as a result.  Before getting off of the phone, I received a confirmation email from him that my address had in fact been changed.

I suggest that we all subscribe to method two when checking your oil is my advice.  Get the motor running before checking the accuracy of your oil.  Use your dipstick with people before expecting them to hear important information, especially if it matters to you….